What is nurturing mean to men?

My boyfriend said that there's two kinds of women in men's minds: warm and cold women. Apparently I fall into the latter. I admit i'm extremely vain and a bit self absorbed but I figure that's most women. He says warm women are nurturing and cold women are selfish, I'm not selfish though I barely eat just to make myself look good for him, I spend hundreds of dollars on clothes hair and mak-up to be the perfect trophy girlfriend which I thought all men wanted, he says looks dont matter than why does he consume so much porn? I try my damnedest to look like a porn star to keep him happy and he's not happy. I'm very thin attractive and I sleep with him and I occasionally cook when he's off work and at my place. WTF more does he want? He wants a kind nurturing women but I don't do nurturing I'll give him a bj if he takes me shopping but I need my ego fed more than he needs his. I see relationships as a business arrangement strict 50/50 you scratch my back i'll scratch you'r type of thing I don't understand men or what they want. Any advice?